Moats, Boats & Waterfalls

silentcurses:

Okay wait, here’s a better way to describe it I guess.

Let’s say that I can’t taste chocolate. It just tastes like air to me. I tried it a couple of times but I could see no point in eating it because what is the point in eating something you can’t taste. But sometimes I feel really jealous of…

Passionate friendship is:

• a nonsexual relationship, meaning sexual activity does not occur and sexual attraction is not present
• a relationship that may or may not include “romantic” attraction, whether one-sided or reciprocal
• a relationship based on love; passionate friends love each other to the core, beyond mere liking or caring
• the emotional intensity of passionate friendship love is equivalent or greater to that of the standard romantic-sexual couple relationship, during phases or moments of (emotional) passion
• in the every day lives of two passionate friends, especially those who have been together a long time, the feeling of passion comes and goes (the way it does in any long-term, stable, successful romantic-sexual relationship) but the feeling of strong warmth and profound affection is constant
• a relationship in which emotional, mental, and spiritual intimacy are at their peaks
• a physically intimate relationship which may include any or all of the following, theoretically at any frequency but usually, the frequency is quite high (distinguishing the passionate friendship from a common friendship): full hugs, holding hands, chaste kisses on the face/body/lips, cuddling, sharing a bed, caressing, massages, dancing, linking arms, leaning against each other, looking into each other’s eyes deliberately, heartbeat listening, touching each other’s bare skin, etc.
• verbal or written expression of love and emotions to each other, for no reason, on a regular basis [EX: “I love you,” “You’re the most important person in my life,” “I’m so happy when I’m with you,” etc.]. This covers text messages, phone conversations, handwritten letters and notes, and face to face talk.
• If the two passionate friends individually create a hierarchy of relationships in their lives, the passionate friendship is either their most important relationship or one of their most important relationships, entirely equal to the other most important. Whether the passionate friendship happens within a relationship hierarchy or not, both friends prioritize each other and each other’s needs.
• The passionate friendship often doubles as the primary partnership of the two friends, and consequently, they either choose to live together permanently or live separately and alone. Being primary partners, the passionate friends carve out protected time to be together on a regular basis, take care of each other’s core needs, may choose to become financially interdependent, may choose to rear children together or combine their families that include other adults, are each other’s caregiver (or one of them) in case of illness or injury, travel together, etc.
• The feeling quality of a passionate friendship is a blend of love, caring, warmth, joy, attraction (emotional/intellectual/sensual), fondness, affection, trust, loyalty, appreciation, and intimacy.
• Ideally–and usually, on account of such a connection being rare in the first place–the passionate friendship is one that lasts until one or both of the friends die. It is a relationship that compels loyalty and commitment because the friends are so strongly attracted to each other, their love intense and their harmony natural, that they simply never find a good enough reason to terminate the friendship. Likewise, because the passionate friendship is the most important relationship in the friends’ lives, no matter what, they do whatever they can to preserve it.
• This is a connection that often begins with an instantaneous and unexplainable affinity: two passionate friends meet for the first time and immediately like each other without reason, wanting to be close to each other and important to each other.  The more they become acquainted, the faster and harder they fall for each other. Their love comes naturally and effortlessly, like the friendship itself. This resonance they have speaks to the spiritual nature of their connection and their love. There’s something about the relationship that can’t be seen with the eye or expressed adequately with words. The passionate friends themselves may not understand why they feel so strongly for each other, why they’re so drawn to each other, no matter how long they’ve been together.
• Passionate friendship is characterized by deep vulnerability and intimacy. Moments of emotional openness are frequent, whether one friend tells the other how they feel about them and the relationship, or one friend comforts the other because of emotional distress that the upset friend shares honestly. Passionate friends can be physically vulnerable, emotionally vulnerable, and intellectually vulnerable with each other. They respond to each other’s vulnerability with great respect, caring, compassion, and love.
• Passionate friendship is a one-on-one relationship. While passionate friends may spend time with other people in a group, most of the time they spend together is spent without anyone else around.
• Passionate friendship is an organic type of relationship. It is not made. It cannot be forced or orchestrated with just anyone. The most definitive quality of passionate friendship is a powerful emotional attraction and love that surpasses that of ordinary or common friendship. There’s a reason that most thinkers who wrote about romantic friendship throughout history characterized it as extremely rare, the rarest of all of human connections. A person doesn’t choose to have a passionate friendship with someone, so much as passionate friendship happens to two people without warning. For this reason, passionate friendship usually only visits a person once in life, although it’s entirely possible to have more than one passionate friend at a time.

(Source: chibiwaja)